If you are looking to have a relationship with a foreign woman, it’s likely that you’ll have to manage a long distance relationship. They can be hard to handle because you have to trust that your partner has respect for you and your relationship. Even though it can be challenging, there are so many people who are happy in their situation. The key is finding a way to make a long distance relationship work until you can finally be together permanently. Here are 10 remedies for how to make long distance work.
1. Create Time to Talk
Creating time to talk is so important for long distance relationships. Communication is vital for every relationship. Even if you are busy, talk for 5 minutes about your day because it can be extremely important. They will see that even with a busy schedule, you try to make your significant other happy.
If you are talking and not actively listening, this is not how to make long distance work. This is very counterproductive and will only cause trouble and arguments. Listening is just as much of a skill as talking. Both are crucial in a long distance relationship because nonverbal communication can be difficult to read.
Successful couples from the international dating site Dream Singles have noted that creating time to talk is imperative to making a long distance relationship work. Especially when you are dating a Russian girl, things can get lost in translation and you want clear communication to be key.
2. Know Each Other’s Schedule
A great remedy for how to make long distance work is to know each other’s schedule. Of course, there will be times when communication is off, that’s life. But if you know each other’s schedule, then it’seasier to make time for each other.
This doesn’t mean being intrusive and knowing every single minute of your partner’s day. It means knowing a general work schedule and social calendar. It helps to feel as if you are not being neglected.
“When are you at your best? When can you devote private, unrushed time to conversation? How do you feel about spontaneous texts? Who has the more flexible schedule? What feels like your most intimate part of the day — or the time when you crave connection the most? Who should initiate the contact? Do you prefer a set time no matter what, or should it vary by the day? There’s no limit to the types of communication arrangements that can work, as long as they feel mutually satisfying.” –Andrea Bonior, Ph. D
3. Never Neglect One Another
This is often the reason that long distance relationships don’t work. It’s normal to get busy and forget to call every once in a while, but if you go weeks without taking time out to appreciate your partner’s presence in your life, this will cause problems.
All of these tips will help you to remember your partner. When you neglect your partner, you become suspicious. She may wonder, “if he is not showing me attention, then who is he showing his attention to?”
4. Send a Gift
Sending a gift is a great gesture to say “I miss you.” Make it something thoughtful that will make her feel special. Giving gifts is not always about getting a material object, but the sentiment attached to it. It means you went out of your way to make sure that someone knew they were loved.
Giving is a skill that not everyone has, but it is something that can be learned. The best gifts are things that are meaningful or necessary, even though random gifts can be nice as well.
International dating sites like Dream Singles give users the opportunity to send gifts in a safe space. This shows that you care, but rids the opportunity of being scammed or putting your information in the wrong hands.
5. Create Habits
Talk on the phone around the same time every night or send a good morning and good night text. It’s important to have a special moment that is just for you every once in a while. These can be very small things that are done once a week, but it will work wonders on your relationship.
You can also build upon small habits. For example, sending a good morning text can turn into a good morning quote to motivate them after some time. These habits are things that say “you’re always on my mind” and are thoughtful in nature. If you can keep them up for months or even longer, then you are on the right track to making a relationship work.
“Gradually over time, we become more predictable to one another. But there’s a positive side to this predictability, it leads to intimacy, and “the partners are so connected with each other that the one doesn’t recognize the other is there, just as the air we breathe can be taken for granted, despite its necessity to life.” –Susan K. Perry, Ph. D
6. Set Boundaries
In any relationship, you have to be vocal in setting boundaries. But the key on how to make long distance work is not straying from these boundaries. In a relationship where your significant other is near you, you have space to stretch your boundaries and hope that they can be forgiving (depending on the severity of what you do).
Let’s say you have a rule of not getting blackout drunk. If a guy goes out with his friends and does this, he could end up in the bed with another girl. This could jeopardize the trust in the relationship. Set boundaries and stick to them.
7. Have ‘Date Night’
In regards to how to make long distance work, it is important that you make time for each other. Even though you are apart, technology gives you the possibility to still have date nights.
You can watch the same Netflix movie or TV show and discuss it on the phone. Another idea would be to both make dinner over video chat. It’s not about what you do; what’s important is that your partner knows you carved out time in your day for them. It’s more about the thought behind the ‘date night’ rather than what you actually do.
8. Set Goals for Your Relationship
You are separated from your partner, but if you have real intentions for each other, you hopefully won’t be apart forever. Set a timeline for your relationship. Set goals like this for example: “In one year we will move in together.”
This gives you something to work towards and look forward to. If you go through your relationship without goals, then your relationship is not going anywhere. Setting goals speaks volumes for both sides of the relationship. If you have a goal, then your partner is much less likely to stray away. Before you start setting goals for your relationship, make sure you envision a future with this person.
“If one partner views the separation as a temporary hurdle that will end in a major commitment — engagement or moving in together for good, for instance — while the other partner views the distance as a simple necessity that may have to be sustained for the long term, there is bound to be friction. Talk continually about the expectations of exactly what the outcome of your separation will be, and when.” –Andrea Bonior, Ph. D
9. Create Intimacy
When navigating how to make long distance work, it is important that you are intimate. This doesn’t mean revealing sex; this means that you let her in and even though she is far away from you, she feels close.
Creating intimacy in a relationship means that even when you are far, you still feel secure. You can create intimacy by expressing your feelings and having expressive conversations that disclose things other people may not know about you. This will make your significant other feel special and will help you view them as a trustworthy person.
” When we share our thoughts at the end of the day,” one woman said, “when we’re lucky enough to be able to do that, it feels very intimate. Those who don’t open up or make it easy for others to do so, known as high self-monitors, have a more difficult time with close relationships.” –Susan K. Perry, Ph. D
10. Be Open and Honest
This is the most important remedy for how to make long distance work. Being open and honest creates a safe space for trust. The number one thing that breaks up long distance relationships is lack of trust between partners. When someone feels insecure, it will drive them crazy.
How to make long distance work is ultimately through communication. If you communicate your feelings, she will have no reason to ever doubt you.
“Can you count on your partner in ways big and small — are they there for the phone call when they said they’d be, or are you frequently shelved when something more “pressing” comes up? Do they stick to the plans you’ve made to fly out to see each other, or do they routinely push back the date, because work got too busy? Do they remember what’s important to you, and listen in ways that make you feel heard and understood, or does each new conversation feel separate, like they weren’t paying attention last time, or like their mind is somewhere else altogether?” –Andrea Bonior, Ph. D
